The Fishtank: Spider-Man: Not Quite A Home Run

 

What’s Next?

And from all of this, the question becomes: what is the future of Spider-Man? Is Tom Holland going to have to face his own universe version of Doctor Octopus, Sandman, Lizard, Electro, Hobgoblin, Rhino and Venom? Will Tom Hardy’s Venom ever face a Spider-Man of his own? Where the hell is Morbius now going to take place?

I personally would have liked at least a hint that characters important to the Maguire or Garfield Spider-Mans were being monitored or even just remembered by Holland, such as Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn or Eddie Brock. Not to mention any and all of the villains from other universes, who were using their real names; if Tom Holland’s Spider-Man faces a Green Goblin and is even the slightest bit surprise that it is an Osborn — Norman or Harry — I’ll be mad.

In the comics, Edward “Ned” Leeds becomes the third Hobgoblin. Maguire’s line about holding his best friends in his arms as he died following a fight could be more than just a reminder of James Franco. Just imagine if Holland faces a Goblin using Oscorp tech, and when he rips the mask off it’s neither Norman or Harry, but instead Ned. Ned could more than conceivably use his MIT skills to get a job at Oscorp without Peter knowing, and having Peter recognise Ned but not the other way around could pack a huge emotional punch.

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Don’t even get me started on how THIS doesn’t make sense.

Lingering Questions

  • Is Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox) currently Daredevil? He clearly has the abilities (and he’s a really good lawyer). I doubt it is coincidence that Kingpin (Vincent D’Onofrio) has just appeared in the Hawkeye series.
  • Did the memory of the Peters from other universes get erased from their worlds? Is Tobey Maguire going home to a (presumably) Mary-Jane Watson who no longer remembers he is Spider-Man, if she remembers him at all? Do those Spideys remember their involvement here?
  • Ben Parker, the late husband of May Parker (Marisa Tomei) and uncle of Peter Parker, is known to exist in the MCU. How did he die? Why didn’t he have a gravestone? If he’s not dead, where is he?
  • How will the chunk of the Venom Symbiote left behind interact with Tom Holland? Will it still sound like it does in the Venom films, ie. voiced by Tom Hardy? Will it explicitly be “the same” Venom?
  • Is it correct that this takes place (roughly) 2023, a week or so after Far From Home? That would give Peter time to get his rejection letters, and consult his really good lawyer. So where the heck were the Avengers? While I do believe in solo films/series allowing some suspension of disbelief – Daredevil beating up crooks in Hell’s Kitchen? Not worthy of Avengers involvement – but the sky cracked open above New York City for the second time in ten years. That might be worth checking out.

Basically, the TV adaption of Preacher did a full first season which finished where the comics began, and that seemed excessive at the time. So it is kind of strange that after Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2006), The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) and now Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021), we are only just finishing the origin story of the MCU’s Spider-Man.

Final Thoughts and Spoiler Review

With the added benefit of using spoilers, I would add these thoughts to my review:
+ Andrew Garfield was acting like his job depended on it, and maybe it did. His short monologue about losing Gwen, and his reaction to saving MJ (Zendaya) in the final battle were phenomenal. Tobey was not as animated, but that makes sense for a guy who has come to terms with being Spider-Man for ~15-20 years longer than the others. And Charlie Cox reprising his role as Matt Murdock/Daredevil one day after Kingpin appears on Hawkeye? That can’t be a coincidence, and I am all for the implications
+ the three Spiders working together was a thing of beauty, including the idea of Maguire/Garfield not being good in team situations. The way Holland slingshotted the other two when they first swung off together was one of the most hype moments of the movie, and it was literally a throwaway action
+ dialogue gets somewhat of a free pass, only because that overconfidence is Spider-Man’s gimmick; he literally puts on a persona to appear more confident in the face of danger. However, that should only apply to Spider-Man himself, and not the supporting cast. I liked the back and forth between the three about web shooters versus natural webbing, as well as the villains they had faced
+ Goblin hitting those powerbombs and spinebusters through the floors of the apartment building were fucking incredible. Who knew Goblin would be the Batista tribute act we never knew we wanted? I think my favourite fight was the first fight, between Spidey/Ock on the bridge, though. Brought back fantastic memories of Spider-Man 2 back in the day

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Add in any of these other characters, even if they were just used as a bit part, cameo, or joke, and at least we’d get six villains to fight.

– Doctor Strange was like a completely different person, and if you told me he was a Skrull to tie into the upcoming Secret Invasion, then I would believe it. I would argue that, after this, whether he was dusted for five years or not he should have been stripped of the title of Sorcerer Supreme immediately
– the reveal itself of the other Spider-Men was really quite lacklustre. Ned and MJ just kind of “ask” for them to appear, and they do? Like, no build up or fanfare? I get that Garfield was originally meant to be the one they were looking for, but still
– there is a thin line between fanservice, pandering and retreading the same ground, and unfortunately a lot of this falls heavily into the latter. I’m as much of a fan of the “I’m something of a scientist myself” line as anyone, but it just felt shoehorned in here for a cheap laugh
– why the holy hell did they not just get six villains over all and do it properly? The Sinister Six could have been nearly perfect here, considering there was also a pre-established Vulture (Michael Keaton) and could-be-established Shocker (Bokeem Woodbine) or Scorpion (Michael Mando) to choose from, not to mention Venom, Hobgoblin or Rhino from the previous films, Morbius in an early-bird cameo, or Mysterio, having faked his own death? I’m still not entirely sold on this being true, but killing off Mysterio in his first appearance was a huge mistake

> I definitely noticed Kraven, Rhino, and Scorpion as silhouettes in the sky. Did you see any others? Let me know!