The stupendous two nights of wrestling action continues, as Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar meet in the main event of Wrestlemania 38 Sunday. In what is simply put the biggest Wrestlemania match of all time, the two champions will meet in a champion versus champion match, where the winner will be crowned the undisputed top champion of all of the WWE. Also on the show, after months of baiting and sneak attacks, former NFL superstar turned WWE commentary fan favourite Pat McAfee gets his hand on Vince McMahon’s handpicked protégé, Austin Theory. McAfee has previously wrestled only a handful of matches, and it will be a tough night against the ultra-talented Theory, especially with the back of the WWE Chairman. In a story with more twists, turns and tasers than anyone should expect, Sami Zayn and Jackass start Johnny Knoxville will finally go one on one in a match where there are no rules. Zayn eliminated Knoxville from the Royal Rumble, ending the Hollywood icon’s championship dreams, so Knoxville cost Sami Zayn the Intercontinental Championship in return, all en route to this clash on the grandest stage of them all.
The Women’s Tag Team Championships will also be defended, when the team of Zelina Vega and Carmella contend with three of the top teams in the WWE women’s division, Naomi and Sasha Banks, Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan, and Natalya and Shayna Baszler. To bona fide legends of all of wrestling, WWE Hall of Famer Edge and the Phenomenal AJ Styles, will also lock up for the first time ever at Wrestlemania. A vicious con-chair-to from Edge took Styles out of action for weeks, all because Styles stepped up to face the Rated R Superstar, which clearly Edge found completely unacceptable. When the lights are on brightest, will it be Styles or Edge who emerge victorious? The undefeated Omos faces the only man to even knock him of fhis feet, the All Mighty Bobby Lashley in Omos’ biggest test to date. And finally, kicking off the show, the unlikely but successful teamof Randy Orton and Riddle will defend their Raw Tag Team Championships against two former champion teams in their own right: The Street Profits, Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford, and the Alpha Academy, Otis and Chad Gable.
+ Pat McAfee vs Austin Theory (w/ Vince McMahon): not as good as McAfee’s match with Adam Cole from a few years ago, but Theory is not as good as Cole is in the first place. This was still surprisingly good, thanks in no small part to just how hyped up the crowd was from the moment McAfee made his entrance, and then because of that how much they hated Theory on offence. I did not care for the post match shenanigans at all, especially because it led to something that the WWE does all the time, but the first part was so good
+ Johnny Knoxville vs Sami Zayn (Anything Goes Match): this was legitimately great. This was perhaps the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while, thanks in no small part to how fantastic Sami Zayn is in his role, this also featured one of the three biggest crowd pops on the show, and easily the biggest booing reaction. This was celebrity involvement done right, which I admit is easier when Knoxville is willing to put himself through the ringer like he did
– Brock Lesnar (WWE Champion) vs Roman Reigns (Universal Champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) (Winner Takes All Champion vs Champion Match): god almighty, this was horrible. Calling this the biggest match in Wrestlemania history is a slap in the face to every single other match that has ever happened at any Wrestlemania in the past. Why do these two always do such short, predictable matches? It’s not even about who won, because it could have gone either way and I’d have been fine with it, but the match itself was the same old shit we have seen literally 8 years ago now. I foolishly thought that Cowboy Brock might want to do more than just suplexes and an F5 or two, and I was dead wrong. And it seems Reigns only knows two moves anyway. This was billed as a literal blood feud, and it was just so tame I can’t believe the WWE thought anyone would be impressed by this
– The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) vs Sheamus & Ridge Holland (w/ Butch): this was apparently cut for time on night one, and it was pointless to even have it go ahead. This was not even as good as what we’d see on SmackDown’s weekly TV
– AJ Styles vs Edge: sad to say, this was so boring. The commentators continuously spouted ‘slow and methodical style’ but that just meant ‘difficult to find any enjoyment in’. Things did eventually pick up again, but a garbage ending ruined all of my built up good will. Also, Styles was bleeding from before he even finished his entrance; I think his pyro got him right in the face, which is not an ideal way to start any match
– Carmella & Queen Zelina (c) vs Sasha Banks & Naomi vs Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley vs Natalya & Shayna Baszler (Women’s Tag Team Championships): first all, see how none of these teams even have a name, nor came out under one entrance song? The women’s tag teams in WWE are tag teams in name only. This was fine, but full of contrived garbage and unenforced tag team rules. I did not care for this
– Omos vs Bobby Lashley: this was nothing special, but thankfully short. I was genuinely interested in the first meeting between Omos and Commander Azeez, and I can’t believe they blew that off on Raw instead of doing it here, leading to Lashley coming out afterwards
– RK-Bro (Randy Orton & Riddle) (c) vs The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) vs Alpha Academy (Chad Gable & Otis) (Raw Tag Team Championships): this was surprisingly tame, and almost more about the aftermath than the match itself. Leaving aside the fact that we saw this exact match not too long ago, and every other combination of singles in the meantime, I just expected more. Only RK-Bro had anything cool to do, and the rest was as standard as it gets
Should you watch this event: This was really not a good show. Between Edge/Styles never kicking into a high enough gear to warrant investment, and The New Day getting only 90 seconds in a match against the guy who BROKE THEIR PARTNER’S NECK, this was not good at all before the main event which shit the bed so badly I can’t even put into words how much it sucked. Thank god I have so many other shows to watch from this weekend, because WWE is not good.