FULL SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS FOLLOW because I figure you’ve all seen it already.
I’ll skip my usual hilarious banter and say this: I don’t care for Star Wars. I’m not a fan, past or present, and had no real desire to see this film; I am just checking it off my ever growing list. It’s the sequel to the original trilogy, not the modern prequels. This seventh entry in the Star Wars series tells of Rey (Daisy Ridley), a scavenger who becomes embroiled in an intergalactic affair when resistance X-wing pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) is chased to Rey’s planet by the First Order commander Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). Also involved are infamous smugglers Han Solo and Chewbacca (reprising Harrrison Ford and Peter Mayhew, respectively) as well as Finn (John Boyega) a stormtrooper who turns on the First Order.
+ Finn’s turn on the stormtroopers was pretty cool, though I do wonder if they are still meant to be clones as the prequel series suggests (because if so, why does one in particular care at all?) The image of the blood on the helmet was pretty cool
+ Rey was kind of boring, but I guess she is the same sort of self-insert who Luke was supposed to be. Her action scenes were engrossing, but her having all the powers at the end of the film was somewhat cliched
+ Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) was a thoroughly enjoyable villain, and I was glad he wasn’t another old dude (Vader, Dooku, Palpatine). After taking the mask off, I felt he was just as compelling, if not even more so
+ once again, we get some overarching patriarchal themes, thought thankfully this time it’s not the main protagonists (though I get the feeling Rey and Luke will be connected somehow). The family of Han/Leia/Kylo was a nice, natural feeling story
+ the effects are a trillion times better than any of the previous films
– the whole plot is basically just A New Hope with new characters. In that regard, I really didn’t feel much for the plot because I was more or less able to see where things were going
– Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) originally appears to be a threat, but she kind of just disappears. I’m surprised she didn’t get the role of that awesome TRAITOR dude (which I now understand all the memes about)
– how did Mark Hamill get higher billing than our three heroes when he is in it for literally 30 seconds and has zero lines?
– where did Poe Go? Sadness covered me upon his disappearance
Should you see this film: The film was competently made, but still did very little for me. If you like Star Wars, you’ve probably already seen it. If you don’t, and haven’t, then I still say don’t bother.