The Fishtank: Batman v Superman v Good Decisions

3. BATMAN DOESN’T KILL

First and foremost, I’m not (entirely) talking about the aforementioned desert dream. In the dream sequence, it could be argued that Batman has absolutely, utterly no other choice but to use guns to slaughter this random mooks, and as stupid an argument as this is, I’d accept it. I mean in the movie proper, where Batman straight up murdered dozen of goons. I was willing to accept that ramming a car onto it’s roof was acceptable in comic-book world, but the subsequent dragging it around and then slamming it onto another car with an extravagant explosion is not on. Neither is using the Bat-wing’s forward guns to blow the SHIT out of that guy manning the car’s mounted gun.

Even when it came to the unarmed combat, Batman was definitely no-hold-barred murdering those mooks. I don’t care how you try to justify throwing someone into a wall, if they go through the support beams, they are dead. If you punch them head first through the floor, they are dead. If you throw them down the hole you made when you entered the room, they are most likely dead. And if you felt like refuting any of those points, remember Batman blew the entire goddamn building up on his way out.

4. Doomsday

Finally, we come to this, the most unnecessary and most poorly executed plot point of the entire film. Superman and Doomsday have history, so seeing Doomsday looking like he did, appear in what was Superman’s second active year has some very serious story ramifications, not to mention how easily Doomsday was defeated. In his comic debut, Doomsday tears through the entire Justice League before simultaneously killing Superman and dying himself (similar-ish to the film). This ending is fine… but making Doomsday “the one who killed Superman” is rendered nearly moot by the time the film finishes, as there is very little doubt left that Superman is alive.

Also worth noting is just how stupid the entire sequence of events are leading up to this. Batman throws away the Kryptonite spear because he and Supes’ mothers have the same name; Lois throws the spear into a lake, but then changes her mind and decides she needs it (with no discussion between her and the heroes); she almost drowns, DOESN’T get saved by Aquaman (was this in the ocean, or just somewhere underwater?) and Superman takes a quick tea break to chat with his bae after saving her; Superman, the dude with the kryptonite vulnerability, grabs the spear and barely manages to get close enough to the hulking death machine long enough to get himself stabbed. Why didn’t Wonder Woman just impale Doomsday when Superman or Batman had Doomsday distracted? She had all the strength with none of the kryptonite vulnerability, and you can assume due to her sword wielding that she had weapons training, which would most likely have included spears, you-know, the corner stone of Greek infantry.

Overall, the film was bad. But the worst part is that it could have been good, with a few small changes (which never should have been approved in the first place). There are sequels planned, so hopefully the next time someone suggests one of our heroes go on a murderous rampage, or when someone raids the WETA Workshop for a finished model of a cave troll, they are slapped upside the head and we can all get a good movie like we deserve.